Why people have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded matter that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be loaded with problems, cause sorrow, and other troubles. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, finances, age difference, spiritual background, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married woman date.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking affairs. I am sure mostly though it is just the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against married dating. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anyone else? You will need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, colossal really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your savings are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the male is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is disappeared, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.